Thomas Churchwell's Blog. A place for stuff

Love or addiction? Do you love the person your with or are you just addicted to them being there all the time? Most people who smoke don’t want to quit and miss smoking after quiting so much that many smoke again but does that mean they love smoking?
I have been with many women in my life. 37 that I can remember and 90 percent of them came back many times to spend a night with me again. Seriously. Even years later when they are married they come back and not because they are in love. Not because I do anything different than anyone else but so many said “because I like sleeping with you.” Some I have asked but so many I didn’t ask why. We just went with the flow.
Was I just available? Did they just want to spend a night with someone else and since they were already with me it was more comfortable to go backwards then to pick someone up and that person be possessive or make trouble for her? Could be.
Christa Worthington would stand outside the nightclubs I was working and cry for me to come home. Why? Not because of me I am sure but maybe because she was addicted to having someone around.
I don’t think I was truly in love with anyone. I cared a lot about people but I do not think love ever entered the picture from my side. I spent time with women Married one, lived with many. Some for many years but never fell in love. Some say “You just didn’t find the right person.” Ah, I was never looking for the right person. I just was with the person because it was easy to be with that person then to go through so many to find someone to get comfortable with. I found women who clicked with me during the infatuation and then infatuation turned to habit and when we would split up I would miss being with someone and at the time it was that person not because I loved them but because I needed them for my addiction to them and the thought of having to do it all over again with someone new was something I just didn’t want to go through again.
So is there true love or is it just addiction?

I am thinking of creating a game where the player will have to make a trip to NH for Halloween and then back to New York. Of course there will be obstical along the way