Dirk Greineder, famed for bashing in the head of his long time wife in a park on Halloween night claiming that it was just a Halloween prank and that everyone should stop whining about it, claims that Lance Armstrong visits him regularly to gets some performance enhancing drugs known as “SuziQ Newton” in the big house. He says it is a special mixture of burnt toilet paper, spittle and a little secret spunk he claims he won’t reveal. He says that Lance often comes in during visiting hours dressed as his long time ex-visitor Susan Newton who was ordered by court not to visit anymore after attacking the Doctor during a visit where she was dressed as the Tin Man.
Dirk says he enjoys his visits with Lance and often sells Lance pictures of his children that are very popular in the Prison.
“So when do I get my ABC interview?” Dirk asked as we were leaving
A Pair o D
Dirk Greineder, famed Doctor for slicing her wifes throat and bashing in her head in a Halloween trick gone bad is complaining about the noise other prisoners make during the night as his prison mates do number 2.
“It’s bad enough to hear and watch the other prisoners playing with themselves over pictures of my daughter and son. That is bad but of course they get the pictures so stained that I can make a few extra bucks each month selling new pictures of them to the girly,men. But the noise of clank clank clank all Wednesday night while these rubes take a dump keeps me awake.”
When asked what clanking noise he explained that on Wednesday they are served cat food that has been watered down and to give the food some bulk the cooks put in marbles which the Dr. said was surprisingly easy to swallow. “But when it comes out the other end it makes a terrible clanking noise. I don’t bother people with my movement cause I just shit in the pillow case and give it to Miss Devine to clean in the morning.
